My ever changing career plans.

When I was asked at school what I wanted to be I would always give them same answer. "To play in midfield for Manchester United." Back then this dream was a reality. I was young, had talent at the sport and time was on my side.

As I got older I realized that this reality was slipping away. I had to work harder and avoid from temptations such as girls, underage drinking and general socializing with my friends. As much as I managed to avoid all this, my dream was shattered when a 'career' ending injury ended all dreams of playing in football.

So I got on with it. I went through school, being pressured into choosing a career, with many different ideas. Lawyer, journalist, PE teacher, musician, etc etc.

School was over (a bit early for me...thats for another time though). I chose to go study Film, Media & Journalism with the intention of becoming a journalist. Uni comes and goes. I change my plans again. Journalist, work in film or TV, teacher, academic, screen writer.

I leave university. I am currently unemployed, although awaiting to start work in a call center job. Its good money and good hours with excellent benefits...but no disrespect to anyone, but its not for me. I got my starter pack in the mail yesterday and got really really depressed about it. Working in this dead end job.

So, I am 22, had 4 years of university education and I have NO idea what the hell I am going to do with my life. Not that this a failure, or a criticism of the educational system. I dont know what it is, maybe I was to lazy at Uni to get enough work exp (although I worked as much as possible to pay my way through). I am applying for jobs in the BBC and production companies, trying to get some of my writing published, online or in print. I panicked so much last night that I went looking for gap year jobs and seriously thought about just going traveling and worrying about it later. I also spent 4 hours looking for a job anywhere in the media industry. I went to bed at 7am, still unable to sleep.

I have been thinking of my skills...I really cant think of anything I am GREAT at....and that depresses me. I was good at writing in my youth, but I lost that. I was good at football, I lost that. I am going to be stuck in this limbo for a long time.

Ask me now what I want to be. A scriptwriter. Or working in TV, film or radio. Playing bass in a band. But most of all I want to play center midfield for Manchester United